This week I’ve been reading #64

It’s time for another round up of blog posts, articles and stuff from the internet that caught my attention this week.

This Week I've Been Reading
Original photo: kaboompics.com

The UCD 200 And Then Some

I made the mistake of engaging with one self-proclaimed troll, who dismissed the fears and violence women suffer, unless they were people he loved. He was so devoid of compassion, so dismissive. I can’t be sure if it was willful provocation or just sheer ignorance and hatred of women voicing an opinion. He asked why I wasn’t in uproar over bigger things. And maybe that’s a fair point – why don’t I write angry blogs on female genital mutilation and forced child marriages? Why did I not spend my day tweeting about rape? But I do feel immense rage about those things, I can care about multiple issues. But the fact is, I can feel assured that the majority of people will stand with me and say those things are wrong and horrific. But with this? I am not so confident. I have been proven right today – by those men and women saying things like “those girls should be ashamed they sent nude photos”, “what did they expect?”, “they gave up copyright to those photos by sending them”, and “what they don’t know can’t hurt them”. Pure victim-blaming. All get out clauses for the lads involved, freeing them from any shame, guilt or consequence. Allowing them to fuel their victim narrative, that we’ve ruined The Craic. – The UCD 200 And Then Some

Sometimes there just isn’t enough anger to go around. You get weary.

The women who had their photos shared, without their consent, on the UCD 200 Facebook group, have done nothing wrong. But if history has taught us anything it’s that women always pay the consequences and men get to hide behind “boys will be boys”.

Well, fuck that. The actions of these men are unjustifiable and they are the ones who should be treated like they’ve done something wrong. Because they have.

Opinion: Here Is How Young Men Can Stop UCD ‘Revenge Porn’ Incidents From Happening

I think it makes more sense to think of these problems as men’s issues, because more often that not, we’re the ones responsible for these offences. And if you’re sat reading this, annoyed at the insinuation that you’re responsible for something you’ve never done, ask yourself if you do enough make sure that your mates don’t do these things.

When your friend won’t leave that girl alone even though she’s too drunk to stand, do you make sure to sort him out, or do you give him a pass, because he’s drunk too? When your friend calls a girl a slut because she’s slept with just as many people as he has, do you stop and ask him to explain why he sticks by such a incredibly outdated and breathtakingly nonsensical double standard? – Opinion: Here Is How Young Men Can Stop UCD ‘Revenge Porn’ Incidents From Happening

This is an excellent response to the news that 200 male UCD students are members of a Facebook group where they share and rate stories and pictures of girls and women they’ve slept with.

That it is written by a man makes it all the better. It will take men standing up and saying stop, this is wrong in order for things to really change. Women can say it until they’re blue in the face, but to men who see women as something other than human it won’t make the slightest difference. Their friends calling them on their behaviour actually have a chance of getting through to them.

Bustle and the Industrialization of Confession

Cases can be made for and against a survey that distills human experience and outright trauma down to a series of boxes to check, but what is inarguable is that this document is a sign of the times. I would add that it’s a fascinating one. The current media climate demands more life from writers than ever, especially if they aren’t interested in doing actual reporting. The market rewards personal storytelling with attention—the more lurid and specific, the better. Just a few weeks ago, we saw a young xoJane writer seemingly pushed to the brink by what she perceived to be the demands of her job and her reluctance to reveal. Nora Ephron’s signature mantra “everything is copy” has become the norm, except everything can’t ever be enough when your job is to churn out posts on a routine basis. – Bustle and the Industrialization of Confession

Much has been written about confessional writing lately, but this article about the Bustle Writers: Identity Survey is worth reading.

I was raped as a student, and I back sexual consent lessons for freshers

I discovered, years after my own assault, that I knew several other women who had endured the exact same particular circumstances I had. Would our attackers have been deterred by consent lessons? There is a chance, a not insubstantial one, that a pervasive and commonly expressed disgust for such acts would cause a potential rapist to fear social consequences.

There is a chance that if such a culture existed, I would have immediately reported my rape and felt no shame about the fact I had been drinking. As it was, I kept it secret for an unfeasibly long time, by which point my mental health had deteriorated to the extent I hadn’t seen a pre-3pm sky for six months and had long since dropped out. Who knows how differently things might have been if I had instinctively felt that I would be supported both by the university and my peers? – I was raped as a student, and I back sexual consent lessons for freshers

An excellent article, by Megan Nolan, about university, rape and sexual consent classes.

Self(ie)-Hating Disabled Person

People often say that selfies are for the vain or the self-obsessed (read Rachel Syme’s SELFIE if you still think that by the end of this piece) but I have spent 90% of my life thinking that I should be unseen, truly believing that I am not to be a thing of admiration for anyone. If a man liked me, I always added a BUT into their intentions. “He likes me BUT he’s not into the whole disabled thing”. “He likes me BUT I must never let him see my stump”.”He likes me BUT he’s probably worried about what his friends will think”. I’ve asked men I’m with not to tell anyone we’ve hooked up because I didn’t want their friends asking about my body. If a woman complimented me, I knew she was thinking “…BUT thank god I’m not in a wheelchair”. Christ. How the hell did I function with all of this self-doubt? I certainly never had a honest relationship with any man as a result. – Self(ie)-Hating Disabled Person

A brilliant and honest piece, by Louise Bruton, about body image and selfies.

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