Public displays of affection

Reading this post over on F is for… got me thinking about public displays of affection and they’re not something I normally give much thought to.

It’s not something that bothers me; gay, straight, trans, bisexual, or none of these, I’m unlikely to pay attention to whose hand you’re holding or mouth you’re kissing. Unless you’re actually standing in my way in the street or sitting in front of me in the cinema and distracting me from the movie then my view is do whatever makes you happy with whoever makes you happy (as long as you realise you’re in public obviously). Even then you can continue to do as you please but be prepared for me to ask you to move out of my way first.

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The weirdest week

It kinda crept up on me and, suddenly, hit me full force across the head all at the same time. It’s possible that there were little signs that I didn’t pick up on, actually if I’m being honest then I definitely missed a sign or two but the first I realised anything was really wrong was when the floaty feeling reared its head on Monday morning.

It’s like I’m in the corner of the room watching everything that happens, both, around me and to me but I’m not inside my own head enough to be in real control of any of it.

 

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I hate the word closure, but…

There’s no two ways about it, the first time you see your ex after the break up is bound to be all kinds of awkward. You can plan it out in your head a million times over but it’s never gonna play out like that.

Maybe it would have been different if we’d arranged to meet up instead of unexpectedly bumping into each other in this city that is too damn small at times but seeing her really knocked me for six. Just as an aside, we had originally arranged to see each other shortly after she moved home but at the last minute we both realised, separately, that we weren’t ready to face each other yet so it didn’t happen.

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My brain is at it again!

Put me in front of a group of strangers, give me a set topic and I’ll talk the hind legs off a donkey with no problem at all. Place me in front of the same group without something specific to talk about and I’ll probably mutter and mumble for fifteen minutes before being able to make any sense at all. It’ll take another while before I actually relax and feel like myself. 

I don’t fare much better with individual people either, I’m the same gibbering wreck for a good half an hour or so. It’s a rare occurrence that I meet someone and instantly feel comfortable around them which, I guess, makes it all the nicer when it does happen.

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Like I need a reason to mention Bell X1!

Last week saw Phantom 105.2 announce the results of their reader poll to find the top 50 Irish songs of all time. The full list can be found here and, without spoiling it for those who haven’t read it yet, can I just say that I can’t stand the song that made it to number one. 

Each to there own though and not everyone is going to agree with my favourites from the list either (there are more than the two mentioned here).

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This week I’ve been reading #3

It’s been a few weeks since I did one of these but here’s a round up of blog posts, articles and stuff that caught my eye over the last week.

Sunday:

Over on me, mine and other bits Speccy writes beautifully about her Mum – herself 

Reclaim The Voice shares a poem with us, for the day that’s in it – Mother’s Day

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Review: The Handmade Soap Co. Moisturising Cream for Dry Skin

The Handmade Soap Co. Moisturising Cream for Dry Skin (30ml), €24.95. Press samples included.

I finished my tube of UV Riche recently and couldn’t wait to try The Handmade Co. Moisturising Cream for Dry Skin*, which was next in my ‘to use’ pile. I first mentioned it back in October and have been intrigued by it ever since.

The Handmade Soap Co. is an Irish brand that was founded in 2009 and prides itself on creating a range of high quality, high performing soaps, creams and body butters. All the products are free from parabens, Sodium Lauryl Sulfate and artificial colours and fragrances.

According to The Handmade Soap Co. the Moisturising Cream for Dry Skin is ‘specially formulated to revitalise and replenish’ even the driest of skin and I’ve spoken about skincare often enough for you know that this sounds like my kind of product.

Ingredients wise it contains Olive Oil, Cocoa Butter, Apricot Kernel Oil, Evening Primrose Oil which are all known for their hydrating properties.

This is quite a heavily scented moisturiser with essential oils of Patchouli, Palmarosa, Lavender and Sweet Orange in the mix. The over-riding fragrance being lavender, which hits you as soon as you unscrew the jar.

I was a bit worried about having such a scented product, even though the ingredients are natural, but after a couple of weeks use my skin has had no adverse reaction. Though if you are sensitive to fragrance then I’d recommend doing a patch test with this first just to be on the safe side.

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Breaking Up is Hard to Do

Break ups are hard and strange as it sounds this is something I’ve only realised within the past month. What makes things even harder to get my head around is the fact that technically the break up happened last summer.

You know the score, or maybe you don’t, a relationship that starts out great falls victim to a change in circumstance and you realise that it’s not going to last the distance (figuratively and literally). Breaking up before any resentment crept in and someone got hurt seemed like the best idea so we parted ways.

Things were a little weird, at first, but it really didn’t seem like a major deal at the time. Months passed, life threw some other issues at me and that prompted my ex to get in touch to see how I was doing. From this phone call grew a new friendship, it was different than it had been before (obviously) but, to us, it seemed perfectly normal.

Once again life entered the mix and over the course of phone, text and email conversations I realised I was pinning and was clearly still in love with her. So, you know, there was that!

After much thought and deliberation I decided it was best to know one way or the other if we had a shot (bearing in mind she was still living out of the country which was the original catalyst in our split). It back fired big time, she wasn’t impressed at all. 

This is where things started to get really messy, simply being friends wasn’t an option for me and I needed to cut all contact and at least try and move on. Having agreed to this, I was then bombarded by phone messages and emails from her which really didn’t help matters at all.

Asking her to stop didn’t work, nor did ignoring her and hoping she’d go away. In the end I had to ask a mutual friend to have a word. Whatever he said, it seemed to do the trick and I made the decision to look onwards again.

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Fiction: The Kiss

The world is spinning, her legs are trembling and she can feel her heart pounding so fiercely that it’s entirely possible it’ll explode any minute now.

She lets go of his hand and turns to walk away. Walking is proving difficult in her current giddy state, it takes all the concentration she can muster to put one foot in front of the other and actually move.

She can feel his eyes watching her as she totters toward the waiting taxi and she likes it. The very thought of him makes her stomach flip in ways she didn’t realise were possible so for fear of actually passing out she doesn’t turn back.

As the car pulls off she catches his eye and he flashes her a smile. Oh god, the smile! It was the smile that did it you know, led to the kiss. How could anyone resist a smile as captivating as that?

A wave of adrenaline rushes over her and she can feel his hands on her waist even though he’s nowhere near. Now she’s imagining what else he might do with his hands!

It’s been a long time since she felt like this…actually, she’s not even sure she’s ever felt like this before. Yes, she’s felt the rush of a first kiss but it was never this strong. Every inch of her body is still feeling this one!

How she managed to focus enough to give directions to her house is beyond her but here they are. Her legs wobble again as she steps out of the car and she can see from the driver’s expression that he thinks she’s completely wasted.

Closing the front door behind her, she lets out a sigh and runs her finger over her lips. The lips that not too long ago were in the middle of the most intense and exhilarating kiss of her life.

The type of kiss that she can’t wait to have again…

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I’m Feminine and a Lesbian, Deal with It!

How often have you taken one look at someone and made assumptions about what kind of personality they have, what they do for a living or who they sleep with that?

The who I sleep with assumption happens to me a lot because…shock of all horrors…I’m a feminine looking lesbian (femme) and this seems to confuse the hell out of people.

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